MOVIE REVIEW: Vincent Reviews "Alien: Covenant"

Alien: Covenant Movie Review

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Elevator pitch: Michael Fassbender plays a shoeless taxidermist.

Best thing about this flick is James Franco is killed within like the first 15 minutes SPOILER ALERT! Come on you didn't even know he was in this.

Not much happens in the first hour. They should rename it Covenant: Alien In About An Hour.

So what do you do without aliens in the first half? You hike! Yes there's lots of hiking on some faraway planet in the beginning of this movie. I hate hiking!

Danny McBride plays the hick named Tennessee (nickname: T) wearing a cowboy hat with the side brim folded up because of course he does.

I didn't like the lead actresses's hair. Sort of a bowl cut that belongs on a 6-year-old boy.

Guy Pearce looked old AF but I think they aged him up a la Benjamin Button.

Faris looks like Bethany Crouch.

There are a few times where Fassbender is wearing a hoodie pulled up over his head and all I could think was "Assassin's Creed!"

The alien attacks are bloody, yucky, and difficult to watch. And awesome.

This movie is at its best when it's being a classic sci-fi horor flick like the first 2 Alien movies and it's mediocre and reaching when it's trying to be more.

The final battle scene seemed overly long, tacked on, and unnecessary. Guess they were trying to recreate the magic of Sigourney Weaver kicking the ass of the big mama alien at the end of Aliens. It did not work.

Overall this movie is decent/ okay. Good not great. Not a thumbs down or a thumbs up nor a sideways thumb. Maybe a 45 degree angle thumb. Perhaps 30.

-Vincent

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Now here are some Snapchats I took at the movie theatre.

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Armstrong and Getty

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